Blorf  

"Jabberlaggy"

Twas glacial, and the core routers
Did flap and reboot in the net.
All laggy were the MUDders,
And they could not reconnect.

Beware the Lagmonster, my son!
The links that die, the delays that cost!
Beware the latency, and shun
The excessive packet loss!

He took his walking staff in hand:
Long time the bandwidth he sought --
So rested he by the ESS tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in idle thought he stood,
The Lagmonster, with with wires aflame,
Came charging through the mirky wood,
And caused linkdeath as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The lightning spell went zippity-zap!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went triumphantly back.

And has thou slain the Lagmonster?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O lagless day! Hello! Hurray!
He chortled in his joy.

Twas lagless, and the speedy net
Did have bandwidth to spare;
All contented were the MUDders,
And they stopped pulling out their hair.