This is horribly, horribly stupid. However, I'm drunk enough and bored enough to post this. Who really gives a shit? It made me laugh, so fuck it.
Alexa tells you: I have the following on sale:
Lot Seller Price Description Tag
#443 Arithon 28 - a simple snakeskin sheath Always use a sheath
#444 Arithon 35 - a dark red flask (empty) Put something in it
#445 Arithon 35 - a crystal (spent) SEE THE LIGHT!
#449 Arithon 35 - a ladder Climb stuff, maybe?
#450 Arithon 35 - an ornate iron key Go get yourself in some trouble. I'll meet ya there
#451 Arithon 35 - a jeweled key Either the key to my chastity belt or Erebor. Not sure which
#452 Tevildo 35 - the Death Lance
#454 Heidi 42 - a cooked bluegill Smell's Like Arithons Pants...
#458 Heidi 47 - a pair of seamstress scissors Get a pack or Give Arithon the CHOP :P
#459 Arithon 142 - Arithon's auction package [ two simple snakeskin sheaths ] Be safe with Heidi...use TWO sheathes!!
#461 Arithon 35 - a grey cat Selling it for less than Heidi is....
#462 Heidi 100 - a living staff Better than Arithon 1. Fresh 2. Gets Solid In Your Hand.
#463 Heidi 100 - a pair of muddy boots From Arithons Last Trip Dogging
#464 Arithon 50 - a battered hoe Battered and used hoe for sale...NO, not Heidi this time!
#465 Heidi 100 - a keg of Mead of Rohan Going with Arithon? Use Your Beer Goggles!
#467 Arithon 47 - a pair of bone bracers If you're going to be with Heidi, you need a bone bracer ;)
#468 Heidi 250 - a sturdy pitchfork STICK this in Arithon He's Done ;)
#469 Arithon 50 - a large black pelt Heidi's backhair!
#470 Heidi 500 - Heidi's auction package [ a sack and a bag ] Going with Arithon?Double Bag His Face
#471 Falgor 50 - a battered hoe Arithon, if you want her she is right here.
#473 Heidi 300 - a modest dress Put Arithon in this and **** him :P
#474 Heidi 200 - a pair of wooden dentures From Arithons Last Bird :P
#475 Heidi 200 - a sharpened wooden paddle Spank Arithon Like The Hoe He Is :P
#476 Heidi 200 - a wooden pacifier Arithon has a dressing up as a toddler fetish :P
#477 Heidi 100 - a twig broom Arithon used this tho pleasure himself once!
#478 Arithon 50 - an oily rag Here ya go, Heidi, you're dripping on the carpet again
#479 Arithon 50 - a fillet of tuna This is how you know it's bath-time, Heidi
#480 Arithon 50 - an ash fishing rod Wash this off, while you're at it
#481 Heidi 100 - a small container of cleaning fluid Arithon's Last Test Sample
#482 Arithon 50 - a worm Haven't had your shots yet, Heidi?
#483 Heidi 50 - a worm I thought this came out of you Arithon?
#484 Heidi 50 - a worm Or is this your junk?
#485 Arithon 50 - a worm It's like pitching a worm into the ocean
#487 Heidi 50 - a worm is when your junk is as small as this Ari :P
#488 Arithon 150 - Arithon's auction package [ steak 'n taters and a glass of tomato juice ] Take her to dinner and if you can stand the smell, she's yours
#489 Heidi 100 - a smoothly polished white ring White and Clean Unlike Arithons Ring :P
#490 Arithon 150 - Arithon's auction package [ a leather collar, a mug of cherry ale and a link of greasy sausage ] Heidi tells you: I'm going to bed now :)