Rumour  36  Orduclax     (Sun Feb 11)  LOTR(CONDENSED)

Bilbo was having a birthday party for him and Frodo, and everyone 
was invited. Many people came to join the happy celebration.

legend bilbo
Bilbo the hobbit Burglar (Hand of Eru)
Age: 111d,  2s
Info: The Mad Baggins!
Can be mailed: Bilbo@Bywater

Bilbo: woohoo!
Frodo: Congrats!  Happy Bday!
Frodo:..but lately you've been turning into 'that guy' who
used to play a lot but barely logs anymore and sits in the 
guild hall.
Bilbo:  maybe i should retire..

1 minute laer..

Bilbo tells you: travelto rulez, my first trip out here 
took frever following the Great East Road room by room
legend bilbo

Bilbo the hobbit Burglar (Hand of Eru)
Age: 111d, 1m 16s
Info: Retired and Freelance.  
Can be mailed: Bilbo@Rivendell

Now, one of the visitors was the Wizard Gandalf the Grey... 
And Frodo and Gandalf began to talk... 
Frodo says: so why are you in the shire now? 
Gandalf says: well, besides this birthday party, I need to 
demonic to use the whip... it's a great weapon. 
Gandalf says: besides, I can't backstab with Glamdring very
well anyway.

Gandalf looks at Frodo.
He is carrying:
  The One Ring

Gandalf begins casting a spell... 
Gandalf swears loudly for a long time. 
Gandalf says: damned newbie protection 

Gandalf now thinks to himself, hmm, if I can't kill him myself 
maybe if I convince him to go someplace dangerous, I can 
loot his corpse
So Gandalf convinces him to go on a long journey... 

Later at the Council of Elrond

Elrond says: You must be powerful indeed to be thinking of questing!
May Eru bless you in your search!  Look high at first, then
delve deep and question vigorously!  Lastly, may you have the
luck of the Valar to assist you!

Gandalf waits.
Gandalf boggles.
Gandalf says: that's it?
Gandalf nudges Frodo.
Gandalf whispers to Frodo, "So speaks Elrond the Wise.."
Frodo smirks.

The company is now outside, and is encountering cold weather 
trying to get over Redhorn Gate.

Aragorn says: I hate snow!
Legolas says: you know, I wish elves knew how to run on snow, 
that would be a neat trick... too bad we elves don't know how
to do that...

Boromir looks at Frodo. 
Boromir says: gimme that ring or I kill all your characters
Frodo acks!
Frodo leaves boats.
Samwise: ORCS! HELP ORCS! 
Boromir: YES! I love killing ERs at 100 gold a piece
Boromir rips into Orc savagely, spraying blood and gore everywhere! 
Orc Shredder shoots Boromir with an arrow. 
Orc Shredder shoots Boromir with an arrow. 
(200 arrows later)
Boromir has died

To be continued.