Well a while back, i wrote these when i was bored. Probally really dumb so here we go! Who doesnt love dumb storys :) lets here some people call it stupid or boring *coughs Hobson*
You enter a dark Cramped Theater
You sit down in a comfy chair.
Tantor pulls the curtains.
You eat Popcorn.
You drink Soda.
A loud voice boams: Please Enjoy the Show
Words Magically Appear on the screen:
A man on the screen Screams: Ladys and Gentlemen Please be kind and Turn those cell phones off, turn those beepers to vibrate and take those crying children to the lobby. Remeber to Visit the Snack bar! Please Enjoy! From the Ethereal Theater's Staff.
Written by: Tantor
Directed by: Ethereal
Edited by: Seredric
A Tantor Production
An Ar-Gimilzor Film
Presents:
Ardan Hell in a Box: The Murder Mystery
This is the main room of the inn "The Green Dragon", It is the heart of bywater
some people say. People of the Shire like to meet here and talk of travels. There is rooms of to the west, and a Sign stands high above the bar.
The only obvious exits are bar, south, west, northern room, east corner and west corner.
A trash can
A Large Sign
You look at A Large Sign.
It reads: Welcome to The Green Dragon, We have anything you like, You name it we got it.
beer 4
green ale 13
champagine 35
cheese cake 20
northern room
You enter a room that has no source of light, nothing to see much because even if there was you couldnt see it. You could easly listen to the rooms outside without being seen in here.
The only obvious exits are main room.
A chair
You sit in the chair.
You realize that this is a comfy chair.
You look east corner.
This is a bright corner of the Inn, there are pictures of famous hobbits, and a dart board. There is a big red booth, and plates and food on the table. This booth is normaly reserved for famous people it seems.
A large Red booth
A buckland couple
You look at A buckland couple.
Well look here why if it isnt old Amros, and his gold-digging wife Gina. Amros is a rich and famous person of the shire, and His wife Gina loves money. Amros hides his shame (which nobody is to know what its about not even you!)with is millions of gold.
Amros says in Westron: Well Gina, my darling what do you say you and me go down
the the private golf course in Buckland? I could introduce you to the
Mayor?
Gina says in Westron: Well, Puddin depends on how much money your gonna
give me ya hear?
Amros says in Westron: Only the best for my Gina, and tonight im gonna give you my best you ever had!
Gina says in Westron: Oh please suga, how is this gonna pleasure me?
Gina moves her hands two inches apart.
Amros shh's Gina.
Amros says in Westron: Mind your Tounge woman or you wont be getting your money this week."
You look into the west corner for a second and see a man named Scylla sitting in the corner watching Gina, and muttering to himself
Scylla mutters: Mines way bigger then this
Scylla moves his hands two inches apart.
You feel tired of watching.
main room
This is the main room of the inn "The Green Dragon", It is the heart of bywater
some people say. People of the Shire like to meet here and talk of travels. There is rooms of to the west, and a Sign stands high above the bar.
The only obvious exits are bar, south, west, northern room, east corner and west corner.
A trash can
A Large Sign
A large Numenorean named Pharazon
A very Hot Numenorean Prostitute
Pharazon says in Westron: Hey Mithgil, Give me the best in the house Im celebrating tonight. .
Barkeeper says in Westron: What you Celebrating Phar?
Pharazon says in Westron: Well I just released the Evil Races thats what!
Pharazon smiles.
Barkeeper says in Westron Evil Races? What the...
Pharazon says in Westron: Dont you finish that sentance or i will silence you myself
Pharazon grrs.
Barkeeper says in Westron: Yes sir, Sorry sir." Said the Barkeeper handing him a bottle of Champagine.
Pharazon leaves west.
With her Breasts bouncing up and down.
Prostitute follows Pharazon west.
Barkeeper says in Westron: Ah Sgt. Mack, what will it be this evening?
You say in Westron: Well Mith, I would like a Mug of Green Ale, and the local gossip actually.
Barkeep says in Westron: Well let me think here.
Barkeep drops A green ale.
You take A green ale.
Barkeep says in Westron: Well Something strange happened before you walked in the room Pharazon came in here boosting about It going to happen in Two days. I asked what "It" was He said it was terrible and it would happen right in this bar at exactly 4:00 pm in two days. I was scared Sgt. I was really scared. He said something about Someone wanting something, and someone not getting it.
You say in westron: But what, what could that mean what is going to happen tommorrow? I must find out I must stop this terrible thing from Happining!
The Next Day:
A cozy little shack this is, a bed sits in the middle of the room, a fireplace on the wall in front of it. A kitchen is on the left of the bed, and a Bathroom is on the right. There is a table in the kitchen that has papers stacked high on it. Take out boxes fill the kitchen area, doesnt look like the person that lives here cooks alot.
The only obvious exit is out.
A table with papers stacked on it
A group of take out boxes
A bed (occupied by Sgt. Mack)
Someone knocks on the door.
You hear: Knock Knock Knock!
Someone shouts in Westron: Sgt.
Someone shouts in Westron: Wake up Wake up
You suddenly wake up at the sound of the voice.
You realize It is your deputy.
You shout in Westron: Shut up will you? Your gonna walk up the whole town Ethereal.
You stumble to the door.
You unlock the out door.
The out door opens.
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Sir we have a lead, some people in the bar last night heard Scylla shout that he was gonna get Gina to be his if he had to Kill Amros to do it.
You say in Westron: Do you have in custody?
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Yes sir, I do he is outside attached to my wagon actually if you want to talk to him.
You say in Westron: Sure bring him in
Deputy Ethereal leaves out.
You take A piece of scone from the take out boxes.
You eat A piece of scone.
Eww! That must be Three months old.
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Scylla enters.
Deputy Ethereal pulls out a chair from the table.
You say in Westron: Sit down Scylla
You say in Westron: How have you been?
Scylla says in Westron: Quite wel...
You say in Westron: Why do you want to kill Amros!
Scylla screams in Westron: Because Because I He I mean he...or im not gonna tell you freaking reverse pshycology aint gonna work Ill never tell!
You say in Westron: So Its true, You do want to kill him
Scylla mutters: I want to kill you to bastard
You ACK!!
You haul off and belt Scylla in the face!
A tear falls from Scylla's face.
Splash!
You say in Westron: Ok Deputy take him to the jail he can wait there for more questions
Deputy Ethereal stands Scylla up.
Deputy Ethereal leaves out.
You say in Westron: Why do you want to kill him !!! Tell me!!
Scylla mutters: I swear that guy is Fuggin Retarded
Scylla leaves out.
The Next Day:
This is the entrance to the lockholes. A guard room is to the north, and the gate to the west leads into the lockholes.
The west door is closed.
The only obvious exits are west, north and east.
Deputy Ethereal is here.
north
This is a guard post. A desk sits on the far wall, cluttered with items. This room is fairly small, and it was carved into the side of a hill. The lockholes used to be storage, but were converted to a prison.
The only obvious exit is south.
A prison guard is standing here touching his little guy
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Prison guard ACKS!!
Prison guard zips up his pants.
Prison guard says in Westron: Uh Uh hm was just checking something really
Prison guard says in Westron: I would never ever do that in public....
You say in Westron: Shut up Osse
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Officer Osse, bring us to a prisoner by the name of Scylla
Prison guard says in Westron: Hmm well there has been some kinda wierd things that happend but ok...
Prison guard forms a party.
Prison guard invited you to join his part.
Prison guard invites Deputy Ethereal to join his party.
You join Prison guards party.
Deputy Ethereal joins Prison guards party.
Prison guard leaves south.
You follow your leader south.
This is the entrance to the lockholes. A guard room is to the north, and the gate to the west leads into the lockholes.
The west door is closed.
The only obvious exits are west, north and east.
Prison guard is here.
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Prison guard leaves west.
You follow your leader west.
You enter the hallway leading through the lockholes of Michel
Delving. The waft of air that rushes to meet you tells you that
the Big Men are not the most compassionate nor sanitary jailors.
To your north and south are doors which lead into cells.
The hallway continues to the west and east.
The north door is locked.
The east door is open.
The west door is open.
The south door is locked.
The only obvious exits are west, north, east and south.
Prison guard is here.
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Someone says in Westron: Mrmph Oh ouch ouch mmp stop stop owww
Someone says in Westron: Oh yeah, shut up B*$ch take it like a man
Someone says in Westron: Give me my pants woman.
You ACK!!
Prison guard says in Westron: See I told you normaly it takes a few months for this kinda stuff to happen but it happend really fast in Scylla's case.
Prison guard unlocks the north door.
Prison guard leaves north.
You follow your leader north.
This is a lockhole. It is a dark, damp, musty hole dug into the ground
which used to be used for storage but now serves as prison cells. A door
to your south leads into the prison hallway.
The south door is open.
The only obvious exit is south.
Prison guard is here.
A Big man named Rhoads sits here putting on his pants.
Scylla sits in the corner crying.
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Prison guard says in Westron: thats it!
Prison guard wields his HUGE Club.
Prison guard hits Rhoads.
Rhoads goes "Ouch!!"
Rhoads falls over knocked out.
Scylla runs up and kicks Rhoads in the balls!!!
Scylla says in Westron: Take that you big meanie!
Prison guard says in Westron I think you guys can take it from here?
Your party has been disband.
Prison guard ties a rope to Rhoads's legs.
Prison guard leaves out.
Rhoads is dragged out.
You say in Westron: Deputy
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Yes sir?
You say in Westron: Go back to the office, and wait for me?
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Sure thing boss.
Deputy Ethereal leaves out.
You unbutton your sleaves.
You loosen your tie.
You crack your neck.
You say in Westron: This is gonna be a long day.
This is a lockhole. It is a dark, damp, musty hole dug into the ground
which used to be used for storage but now serves as prison cells. A door
to your south leads into the prison hallway.
The south door is open.
The only obvious exit is south.
Scylla is here sitting on the bed.
You say in Westron: Looks like Pharazon was Wrong
You say in Westron: Nobody is gonna die because i have the Killer right here!
Scylla says in Westron: You Fool! Pharazon is never wrong. Someone will die no matter what It is Fate.
You say in Westron: Fate smate who cares! Not in my town. All the criminals are in here with you!
Scylla stands up.
Scylla starts to run at you!
Scylla trips over his clothes.
Scylla says in Westron: Shit I tripped
You wield your sword.
You say in westron: Stay back:
Scylla says quitely but quickly in Westron: He will trick you!
Scylla says quitely but quickly in Westron: He will trick you then he will do IT!!
You say in Westron: what? who? wtf?
Scylla opens his mouth.
Scylla says in Westron: D...
Suddenly An arrow flys through the window!
An arrow hits Scylla in the face!.
Scylla falls to the ground.
Scylla is bleeding to death.
Scylla is bleeding to death.
Scylla is bleeding to death.
You try to bandage Scylla but fear his wounds are fatal.
Scylla says in Westron: Damn!
Scylla has died.
You swear!
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Sir Sir, come quick you must go to Adornas, There is an out of control Dunlending Wild Man he is killing a woma....
Deputy Ethereal looks at Corpse of Scylla.
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: WHAT HAPPEND!!
You say in Westron: It is not important I must get to adornas
You run south.
A wide dirt road runs through the center of Adornas. Wagon ruts and
hoofmarks bear testament to the heavy traffic on this thoroughfare. The
town is clearly not wealthy, or this street would be paved. Simple wood
and stone buildings line both sides of the road. Grass grows in places.
The building to the west is fairly official-looking, while the one to the
east is more casual and busy. One of the city gates is to the north.
The sky is dark blue and a yellow glow comes from the east.
The sky is brilliantly clear.
The west door is closed.
The east door is open.
The only obvious exits are west, north, east and south.
Fimbu the dunlending Wild Man is here.
Corpse of Gina
You Scream in Westron: Nooo
Fimbu runs around the crowd scaring people.
Fimbu sneaks up behind a woman and says: !!BOO!!
You kneel before the corpse.
You cry.
Fimbu laughs.
You say in Westron: You Must DIE!!
Fimbu ACKS!!
You sneak up and stab Fimbu from behind!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You hit Fimbu with the wavy blade.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu slices you cleanly.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu slices you cleanly.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You scratch Fimbu lightly.
Fimbu misses you.
You cut Fimbu badly, sending a chunk of his flesh into the air.
Fimbu misses you.
You hit Fimbu with the wavy blade.
Fimbu misses you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu slices you cleanly.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu hits you with the flat of the blade.
You cut Fimbu badly, sending a chunk of his flesh into the air.
Fimbu misses you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You hit Fimbu with the wavy blade.
Fimbu misses you.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu hits you with the flat of the blade.
You chuckle as Fimbu feebly attempts to headbutt you.
Fimbu smashes his forehead into your nose.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu hits you with the flat of the blade.
You cut Fimbu badly, sending a chunk of his flesh into the air.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
Fimbu smashes his forehead into your nose.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You cut Fimbu badly, sending a chunk of his flesh into the air.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You cut Fimbu badly, sending a chunk of his flesh into the air.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu slices you cleanly.
You smile as you watch the sword drinking Fimbu blood.
Fimbu misses you.
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu misses you.
You hit Fimbu with the wavy blade.
Fimbu misses you.
Disregarding your own personal safety, you smash your head into Fimbu!
You miss Fimbu.
Fimbu falls to the ground.
Fimbu is bleeding to death and needs to be bandaged!
You decide to put Fimbu out of his misery.
You killed Fimbu.
Fimbu says in Westron: Dude wtf Im gonna pk your ass till your lvl 5
Fimbu has died.
You cough.
You spit blood at Corpse of Fimbu.
You say in Westron: The Murderer Has been stopped but in vein, for Gina is dead Pharazon was right.
This is the main room of the inn "The Green Dragon", It is the heart of bywater
some people say. People of the Shire like to meet here and talk of travels. There is rooms of to the west, and a Sign stands high above the bar.
The only obvious exits are bar, south, west, northern room, east corner and west corner.
A trash can
A Large Sign
Corpse of Amros
Group of people hanging around the Corpse.
Group says in Westron: Look its Amros he is dead what will Gina think?
You say in Westron: She wont think of anything Fimbu the Dunlending Wild Man Killed her!
Group says in Westron: Oh Sgt. Mack You wont believe it, Deputy Ethereal came in her, and got drunk. He was muttering stuff about How he should be Sgt. and that if he couldnt be the Sgt. he would be the bad guy! Then he killed Amros and said he was gonna frame us like he framed Fimbu.
You say in Westron: oh my god!
Suddenly a voice in the back of your head restates something you heard a while ago.
Scylla says quitely but quickly in Westron: He will trick you then he will do IT!!
You say in Westron: How could i not see!
Deputy Ethereal enters.
Ethereal says in Westron: Must get rid of the body, Must get rid of the witness's, must frame someone!
Deputy Ethereal oh shits!
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Boss....uh i was just u h kidding..
You say in Westron: You Lie!
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: So WHAT! I Lied I should be Sgt. It should of been me that won the job back at the academy!
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: You MUST DIE!!! So i will be the Sgt.
You are attacked by Deputy Ethereal!
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal grazes you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal grazes you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal hits you hard.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal hits you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal hits you.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal hits you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal hits you.
Deputy Ethereal wields his Blade.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal sears you causing severe nerve damage.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal singes you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal zaps you with a staggering shockwave.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal singes you.
Raqtor zaps you with a staggering shockwave.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal zaps you with a staggering shockwave.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal electrocutes you sending a bolt of charge through the body cavity.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal misses you.
Deputy Ethereal electrocutes you sending a bolt of charge through the body cavity.
You miss Deputy Ethereal.
Deputy Ethereal sears you causing severe nerve damage.
You have died.
You have a strange feeling.
You can see your own lifeless body from above.
Deputy Ethereal says in Westron: Hah Bitch, I am the new Sgt.....Sgt. Ethereal... Hah Hah I fucking kicked your ass.
As Ar-/Pharazon/ enters the room, you can hear trumpets playing in the distance.
Pharazon says in Westron: Nobody Curses like that in my Mud!!!
Pharazon nukes Deputy Ethereal.
,
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Deputy Ethereal has drawn Pharazon's wrath and is no more!
You feel your spirit soaring through the heavens to parts unknown.
The Valley of the Porn(XXX)
You say in Westron: God Bless Arda
Well It all works out in the end, I know that know. I spent the rest of the worlds days in the Valley of Porn, Where i met Scylla and we went on a journey. We went to Valinor and found Gina. Scylla sold all the porn he had gotten at the Valley, and was now rich enough to have her. Gina finally got what she wanted, Money and a penis not the size of two inches. Amros was given another chance in arda but not in the right place...He spent the rest of his second life in a dark cell with Osse. Pharazon lived a happy life of nuking and always visited the same inn with a new Numenorean Prostitute. Deputy Ethereal spent the rest of his days, up Caradhras's butt(Pharazon had suggested he use Ethereal instead of a stick). I sit here in Valinor waiting for Eru to bless me with another case.
(Oh Fimbu was given another life since he was framed, but soon he visited the Halls of Mandos one more time for the woman that he snuck up behind got a little pay back upside his head.)
CAST:
MAIN CHARACTERS:
SGT. MACK----TANTOR AR-GIMILZOR
DEPUTY ETHEREAL----ETHEREAL
SCYLLA----HIMSELF
PHARAZON----AR-PHARAZON
AMROS----HIMSELF
GINA----ELMDOR
EXTRAS:
BARKEEPER----MITHGIL GREYSTAR
PRISON GUARD----OSSE
PRISON RAPER----RHOADS ANTRAGON
WILD DUNLENDING----FIMBU
GROUP----AMRUIN
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Tantor Films & Ar-Gimilzor Productions