After ol' Melkor had bumped Santa off,
he returned to the Void, Christmas cookies to scoff.
But just as the Dark Lord started settling down,
Three knocks on the door turned his grin to a frown.

Now Melkor assumed that this was simply some freak,
avenging Saint Nick, "in the name of the meek";
He pulled out his spear and opened the door,
But the sight that he saw chilled him straight to the core!

For standing before him, brilliantly shining,
was not just some Christmas fan, come here for whining:
It was Judah the Maccabee! In one hand, a torah!
In the other he held a great flaming menorah!

The hero spoke out, in his sexy jew way,
"In Hannukah's name do I stand here today!
I have come to defend the holiday I started!
I will not be defeated, I will not be outsmarted!"

Then the Dark Lord he smiled his craftiest smile,
filled with nasty sharp teeth and immeasurable guile,
and he stepped up to Judah with a twinkle in his eye,
and put his arm round Judah's waist, to rest on his thigh.

He spoke to the jew: "Come now, Judah," He said,
"Go and leave me alone, go on home, back to bed.
For I have no quarrel with your festival of lights,
I have never taken issue with your wild eight nights."

"Heck, I've even played dreidel, I can spin with the best,
and to a plateful of latkes I will never protest,
For what message of kindness does Hannukah bring?
What more is your holiday than mid-winter fling?"

"Much more, you buffoon!" replied the Maccabbee,
"Our freedom from bondage did not come for free!
All underdogs and little guys will remember our story;
we kicked the Greeks out of Israel in days of great glory!"

"Inspiration for sufferers?" Melkor scratched his huge chin.
"I can't have my victims thinking that they can win!
You're right, Judah Maccabbee, I have reason to fear:
this holiday is not just for Manischevits beer."

"Hannukah is a danger! And it must be stamped out!"
And with that, Melkor ran Judah through, with a shout!
He cleaned up the mess, threw it all out in the snow,
and prepared to return to his warm fire's glow.

But as he stepped towards his eggnog, he turned back on a whim,
for the sight of the menorah moved something in him.
He did pick it up, and its candles rekindle.
And before sitting, he put the thing in his window.