I'm in BD when I walk across this! Read if bored!
So I'm in Barad-dûr robbing the place when I decide to look around a bit. The following is funny, and I commend whoever coded it. Sorry I don't speak Black :( A large assembly hall(sw, w, e, se and s) An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - l sergeant The orc sergeant that you see in front of you is obviously very proud of his position and rank. He is dressed in a resplendent red uniform that he clearly takes very good care of. He is as nasty and ugly as any orc, but he takes his job so seriously and shows so much pride that he almost glows with the effect. He is carrying: A long brass horn (wielded). - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc sergeant removes a long brass horn. l orc The orc sergeant that you see in front of you is obviously very proud of his position and rank. He is dressed in a resplendent red uniform that he clearly takes very good care of. He is as nasty and ugly as any orc, but he takes his job so seriously and shows so much pride that he almost glows with the effect. He is carrying: A long brass horn. - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc sergeant backs away from the center of the stage. Variag general enters with three more generals. Haradrim general enters with the fluid grace of a big cat. Easterling general walks up to the altar with imposing presence. Black numenorean general walks majestically to the altar. tell metrop see ya You tell Metrop: see ya - HP:200 EP:200 - l Variag general walks uncomfortably up to the altar. This is a large, circular assembly room that the occupants of the Tower call the Proclamation Hall. The adamant floor slopes down to the center of the hall, allowing all in the room to see across the wide area. Large torches high on the walls provide enough light to see by, but the adamant walls do a poor job of reflecting the light. The result is somber, as if you were standing in a huge cavern that happens to have uniform dimensions. The room echoes, a result of its size and shape. At this side of the hall sits a large altar made of adamant. Although it is not evident what the Tower's inhabitants use this stone table for, you can imagine some unpleasant possibilities. Two dark arches open in the wall behind the altar, leading east and west respectively. EXITS = southwest, west, east, southeast and south. A haradrim general An easterling general A black numenorean general A variag general An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general turns and looks back as if someone is missing. l black general This tall, dark-skinned man is proud and confident. He is regal and haughty, a black numenorean of high lineage. Dressed in the ceremonial robes of the Dark Lord's leaders, he is here to deliver a proclamation to the denizens of the Tower. He is carrying: A black steel longsword (wielded). - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. Black numenorean general shakes his head, then walks up to the other generals. Orc general comes stumbling in. l orc sergeant Orc general rubs his belly. The orc sergeant that you see in front of you is obviously very proud of his position and rank. He is dressed in a resplendent red uniform that he clearly takes very good care of. He is as nasty and ugly as any orc, but he takes his job so seriously and shows so much pride that he almost glows with the effect. He is carrying: A long brass horn. Orc general stumbles on his robes on his way to the altar. - HP:200 EP:200 - l This is a large, circular assembly room that the occupants of the Tower call the Proclamation Hall. The adamant floor slopes down to the center of the hall, allowing all in the room to see across the wide area. Large torches high on the walls provide enough light to see by, but the adamant walls do a poor job of reflecting the light. The result is somber, as if you were standing in a huge cavern that happens to have uniform dimensions. The room echoes, a result of its size and shape. At this side of the hall sits a large altar made of adamant. Although it is not evident what the Tower's inhabitants use this stone table for, you can imagine some unpleasant possibilities. Two dark arches open in the wall behind the altar, leading east and west respectively. EXITS = southwest, west, east, southeast and south. An orc general A haradrim general An easterling general A black numenorean general A variag general An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - Easterling general snorts at Orc general in amused disgust. glance e A briefing room for generals(w and n) A black numenorean general A variag general - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc general rubs his belly. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: Bring mexa oar iaurrin eir. l haradrim general The haradrim general is a sleek, swarthy looking man. Famed in his own land for ruthlessness and cruelty, he rose in the ranks of Sauron's armies for those qualities alone. Known as a worthy fighter, he has studied his profession far and wide. He has perfected killing, making it an art form. His ceremonial robes fit him well, but you get the impression he would look good in anything. He is carrying: A Harad stiletto (wielded). - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc general rubs his belly. l easterling general This tall, dark-skinned man looks both proud and highly intelligent. Although a great warrior in his own right, his true strength lies in his tactical ability. Regarded as a master strategist by the other generals, he is often deferred to in matters of war. He strikes an imposing figure in his ceremonial robes. He is carrying: A simple dagger (wielded). - HP:200 EP:200 - glance Suddenly you have a massive headache. A large assembly hall(sw, w, e, se and s) A frightened orc prisoner A whimpering orc prisoner A troll prison guard An orc general A haradrim general An easterling general A black numenorean general A variag general An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll prison guard enters with the prisoners. Whimpering orc prisoner yanks feebly and without effect on the chains. l prisoner This orc looks more terrified than any creature you have ever seen. His face is locked in a grimace of fear: his eyes are open wide, his mouth twisted in a permanent and silent scream, and his arms and legs tremble so violently that they are of little use. He bears the scars and burn marks of recent torture. He has soiled himself out of fear. He is as pitiful as any beast could be. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - Orc general tries to stand tall but ends up looking silly. Troll prison guard drags the prisoners to the altar by their chains. Frightened orc prisoner sobs loudly. Troll prison guard secures the prisoners' chains to the altar. Black numenorean general dismisses the prison guard with a hand gesture. Troll prison guard grunts and bows roughly to the numenorean general. Troll prison guard leaves the hall. Black numenorean general slowly walks up to the chained prisoners. Black numenorean general eyes the prisoners with disgust. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: lerinvin movhou iyurren oour nah qhan oor rhe ran our. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: The pai nhe iheirshul The Dark iaurrin rhin death. Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. glance A large assembly hall(sw, w, e, se and s) A frightened orc prisoner A whimpering orc prisoner An orc general A haradrim general An easterling general A black numenorean general A variag general An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: oor mexa nhou nah qhan ran shil iautar. Whimpering orc prisoner falls to his knees and begs for his life. l orc This orc looks more terrified than any creature you have ever seen. His face is locked in a grimace of fear: his eyes are open wide, his mouth twisted in a permanent and silent scream, and his arms and legs tremble so violently that they are of little use. He bears the scars and burn marks of recent torture. He has soiled himself out of fear. He is as pitiful as any beast could be. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - l orc 2 This small, deft orc is a pitiful sight. His arms and legs are thin and sinewy, giving him a malnourished appearance. His limbs are marked by burns, cuts and other obvious signs of recent torture. As you look at him, you almost feel sorry for him. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - Frightened orc prisoner tries to beg for mercy but is too afraid to do more than sob. Your headache clears up. - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general narrows his eyes. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: Are ran shul lerinvin lerinvin ran iautar' mavir face death que jhertha? l orc general The orc general looks a little out of place beside his human counter- parts. Dressed in similar ceremonial clothes, he looks both uncomfortable and foolish. While he holds a position of power on the military staff, you get the impression this is more to appease the orc masses than to make any thoughtful contribution to the war planning effort. He is carrying: A wicked falchion (wielded). - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: oor oar shil mavir ran nah pou, oar que lerinvin lerinvin ran pai pei louru oar meiyar. oor or oour our ran death shil oour que pou lauvah nhe khauour pei rhen iheirshul mexa Dark iaurrin. l orc sergeant The orc sergeant that you see in front of you is obviously very proud of his position and rank. He is dressed in a resplendent red uniform that he clearly takes very good care of. He is as nasty and ugly as any orc, but he takes his job so seriously and shows so much pride that he almost glows with the effect. He is carrying: A long brass horn. - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: Bring rhei mexa qhan! l horn on sergeant Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. This horn has been polished so well that it shines brightly enough to blind you. A banner displaying the red eye hangs down from it. - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer enters with a grin on his face. Troll torturer enters the Proclamation Hall with an evil smile on his ugly face. Black numenorean general nods at the two huge, vicious-looking trolls. l troll This massive troll guard looks bred for this sort of work. He is immense and powerful. You get the impression he could handle anything twice his size, given his powerful build. His face belies his lack of intelligence, though, but you think he is very capable of inflicting great deals of pain to anyone. His expression is blank and dumb. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - l troll 2 This massive troll guard looks bred for this sort of work. He is immense and powerful. You get the impression he could handle anything twice his size, given his powerful build. His face belies his lack of intelligence, though. His expression is blank and dumb. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - Black numenorean general turns towards you and the rest of the crowd. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: jhertha ran louru que mexa oour qhan The Dark iaurrin. Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. Troll torturer grins gleefully at the chained prisoners. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: Let nah be a oour shil khauour pei rhen iheirshul Him! woo troll You go "Woo!" at Troll torturer. - HP:200 EP:200 - Alexa tells you: a dwarven hauberk is now on sale as lot 438, minimum bid 120 gold vgc rep Troll torturer cackles madly. Whimpering orc prisoner drops before the numenorean general and begs for mercy. Frightened orc prisoner tests the chains in desperation; they hold fast. l chains You don't see that here. - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer unshackles the whimpering prisoner from the chains and ties his rope to the prisoner's arms. Alexa tells you: an emerald shield is now on sale as lot 439, minimum bid 120 gold vgc unall Troll torturer ties a rope, after a very short struggle, to the whimpering orc prisoner's legs. Whimpering orc prisoner screams in terror, wailing out in gibberish. Troll torturer leans back and starts pulling the rope in the opposite direction from the other torturer. Troll torturer gets a firm grip of the rope, leans back and starts pulling the rope. Whimpering orc prisoner strains himself to the maximum of his capability to withstand the immense tension that the two trolls are exerting on his spine. Suddenly you hear something snap from within the prisoner's back. It probably was his spine that gave up. He falls lifelessly to the ground. Troll torturer cheers as the prisoner's body lands on the floor in an unnatural angle... He is really enjoying this! - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer loosens his rope from the whimpering prisoner. Troll torturer loosens his rope from the motionless legs of the whimpering prisoner. glance A large assembly hall(sw, w, e, se and s) A troll with a rope in his hands A troll carrying a rope-bundle A frightened orc prisoner A whimpering orc prisoner An orc general A haradrim general An easterling general A black numenorean general A variag general An orc sergeant - HP:200 EP:200 - Frightened orc prisoner looks at his fellow prisoner. l orc This orc looks more terrified than any creature you have ever seen. His face is locked in a grimace of fear: his eyes are open wide, his mouth twisted in a permanent and silent scream, and his arms and legs tremble so violently that they are of little use. He bears the scars and burn marks of recent torture. He has soiled himself out of fear. He is as pitiful as any beast could be. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - Frightened orc prisoner soils himself. l orc 2 This small, deft orc is a pitiful sight. His arms and legs are thin and sinewy, giving him a malnourished appearance. His limbs are marked by burns, cuts and other obvious signs of recent torture. As you look at him, you almost feel sorry for him. He is empty handed. - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer ties the rope to the fightened prisoner's left arm and gives him a punch in the nose. Orc general tries to sniff his armpits without attracting attention. Troll torturer ties his sturdy rope to one of the frightened prisoner's arms. Frightened orc prisoner looks on in horror, making only a high-pitched whimpering sound. Troll torturer starts pulling for all he's worth. Troll torturer takes the rope in his hands, throws his head back and cackles insanely, and starts to pull. Frightened orc prisoner eeks! Troll torturer leans back to generate more strength and starts yanking the rope! Troll torturer gets an evil grin in his very ugly face and starts to pull even more! Frightened orc prisoner gets an arm torn off. wince You wince just from the thought of it. - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer loosens his rope from the arm, just to tie it to one of the prisoner's legs. Troll torturer loosens the ripped-off arm from the rope and ties it to the now incapacitated prisoner's left leg. Frightened orc prisoner starts to lose lots of blood. Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. Troll torturer positions for a new pull, and at a given command he starts pulling again. Troll torturer takes the rope and wraps it around himself. He then more or less charges away from the prisoner! Frightened orc prisoner makes funny sounds as something snaps from within his body. Troll torturer cheers as the prisoner's body collapses from the gross treatment. Troll torturer does some morbid victory dance in front of the generals in an attempt to impress them. rotfl You roll on the floor laughing. - HP:200 EP:200 - high troll You give Troll torturer a big HIGH FIVE!! - HP:200 EP:200 - Troll torturer grins to the audience and leaves the Proclamation Hall. Troll torturer bows to the numenorean general and leaves the Proclamation Hall. Black numenorean general says in some strange tongue: Bring rhei mexa oar! Priestess enters the stage. l priestess This medium-sized woman appears to be the chief priest in the room. With jet black hair and grey skin, she is a typical variag. Her feral eyes glare about, surveying everything with uncloaked contempt. Clothed in a long black robe with a stiched symbol of the Lidless Eye, she appears both confident and fearless. She is carrying: A spellbook. Dried leaves. A staff of the Eye (wielded). A dark robe (worn). - HP:200 EP:200 - Priestess walks silently to the black numenorean general and nods at him. Black numenorean general nods at the priestess. Some orcs in the crowd cower in fear of the priestess. Priestess starts concentrating, almost like preparing to cast a spell. Priestess starts chanting words of ancient evil. Black smoky tendrils snake from her outstretched fingers and begin to wrap themselves around the mutilated prisoners. Frightened orc prisoner floats up into the air from the priestess's spell, twisting and turning in agony. Flashes surround the already mutilated body, inflicting, if possible, even more pain. Whimpering orc prisoner is lifted up in the air by the priestess's spell. Priestess begins to chant again, her voice harsh. Black smoky tendrils snake from her fingertips and engulf the prisoners even more. Smoke starts to come out of Whimpering orc prisoner's mouth. It smells horrible! Frightened orc prisoner convulses in pain in mid-air as his body starts to catch on fire. The smell of burnt flesh spreads throughout the hall. Orc sergeant looks out over the crowd. Frightened orc prisoner lets out a final death scream as his body is totally engulfed in fire caused by the priestess spell! The body of Whimpering orc prisoner yanks in the middle of the air as an immense fire engulfs it. You see him opening his arms, almost like he is welcoming death. Alexa tells you: a pernicious steel sword is now on sale as lot 440, minimum bid 150 gold fresh The strange fire comes to a crescendo. Suddenly the fire is gone and so is the body of Whimpering orc prisoner. Some ashes falls to the floor; that is probably all that is left of him. Frightened orc prisoner's body seems to disappear in the middle of the fire. All of a sudden, the fire dies out, and some ashes fall to the ground. Priestess curtsies to the numenorean; you get the impression she enjoyed her part in this macabre event. Black numenorean general walks up to the front of the altar. Black numenorean general scans the crowd, his eyes briefly stopping on YOU.