You tell Douglas: wow
You tell Douglas: he says now that he liked it or something
You tell Douglas: fucking weird ways of showing it
Douglas tells you: fucking told you
Douglas tells you: did the girl leave?
You tell Douglas: yes
You tell Douglas: he was sitting there ignoring her, obviously trying to
     keep his dick and balls inside his own hands instead of hers
Douglas tells you: you shoulda left them alone so he oculd get a blowjob
     :P
You tell Douglas: so when he says it was as much him as it was her I'm
     like wtf, pretty much
You tell Douglas: he's screaming and doubling over in pain now though
You tell Douglas: it seems his nuts are hurting like fuck
Douglas tells you: hahahaha, blue balls
^ Omnicron: http://www.xiii-thegame.com
Douglas tells you: hahahahaha
^ Hoshkebosh: cant gay computer
Douglas tells you: if he doesn't go beat off, they're only going to hurt
     worse and worse as time passes
^ Krakkur: MY BALLS
^ Douglas: hahahahahahaahahhahahaha
^ Krakkur: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
^ Douglas: krakkur if you don't fix it, it's only gonna get worse
^ Krakkur: HOW DO I FIX IT???
^ Taranis: Isn't XIII That one with the comic book style graphics an
     David Duwhatevernerys voice?
^ Orlandu: break the motherboard
^ Orlandu: hit it with a hammer, it'll work better

edit edit edit

Douglas tells you: you gotta convince him to go beat off or something
Douglas tells you: :P
^ Omnicron: Spooky Mulder?
^ Obsidian: maybe i should stop with the rum and cola?
You tell Douglas: hahahaha
^ Obsidian thinks.
^ Taranis: No
Douglas tells you: seriously :P or it wont stop hurting
You tell Douglas: you really should download skype and listen to him
     scream
^ Taranis: Drink on!
^ Obsidian: ok.
^ Taranis: Drink in the name of Ireland, even if you're not Irish
^ Orlandu: perhaps you should start with the gin and tonic
Douglas tells you: im on dialup, it'll take a while to download
^ Obsidian: yuck.
You tell Douglas: oh well :P
^ Obsidian: gin and tonic sucks.
You tell Douglas: we'll probably go to sleep soon anyway, 10am soon and
     all
Douglas tells you: heh
^ Obsidian: blue curacau is great straight, but it weak.
Douglas tells you: she was there teasing him till 10 am in the morning?
     jesus christ
^ Taranis: B 151
^ Orlandu: then just down the whole bottle
Douglas tells you: dude she would have fucked him :P
^ Obsidian: been there, done that.
^ Taranis: 75.5% alcohol
You tell Douglas: How would that be good for krakkur with his balls being
     in their current state
Douglas tells you: it relieves the pressure
You tell Douglas: "Fine, I'm going to go watch porn and see if I can get
     it up OUCH"
You tell Douglas: haha
^ Orlandu: 151 is the devil
^ Taranis: I don't drink much, but I tried that once and out've 4 people
     I was the only one who could keep it down =p
^ Obsidian: it's friggin Saturday, ya'll. get hammered!!!
You tell Douglas: Well
---HP:182 EP:220--- Douglas tells you: tell him it'll hurt to do it, but he'll feel s
oooooo much better when he's done
You tell Douglas: not until he actually gets an orgasm
You tell Douglas: I mean, if they had sex
^ Taranis: Even my buddy who drinks his face off Friday, saturday and
     Sunday was yacking in 10 minutes
^ Obsidian: hmm.... typing is getting harder to fo.
^ Orlandu: i have work tomorrow morning or i'd be at a party with a
     guiness kegger :(
You tell Douglas: if she was just rubbing against his balls, it wouldn't be all that great, would it
^ Obsidian: do*
^ Stubble: To fo? :)
^ Obsidian whistles innocently.
^ Obsidian has to work at 6AM.... it's 11:30PM here.
^ Obsidian: woot!
You tell Douglas: dude
^ Krakkur: It hurts if I try to cough, it hurts if I do anything at all
You tell Douglas: that might be fucking right
You tell Douglas: in fact, the last time I had that, that was the reason I
     guess
^ Orlandu: quit breathing, it'll all feel better soon
^ Taranis: Cancerific
You tell Douglas: cool
Douglas tells you: heh
You tell Douglas: no, seriously
^ Obsidian: it's ok, i can work with a hangover.
You tell Douglas: Never actually thought about it though :P
^ Krakkur: I'm gonna try Douglas' advice
^ Douglas: heh
^ Taranis: Drink your hangover away?
^ Obsidian: nah.
^ Almuric: It's not a hangover
^ Krakkur: No
^ Obsidian: that's no fun.
^ Krakkur: It hurts in my balls dude
^ Mathias: Try passing a kidney stone
^ Krakkur: Tawny Roberts... Mmm.
^ Obsidian: ooh.
You tell Krakkur: You have too many warnings to be talking about what you're jerking
off to on the comm :P
^ Taranis: That apparently hurts like hell should
^ Corpus: no, he just has to jerk off and it will get better.
^ Mathias: It does hurt :)
Krakkur tells you: ehehehehehe
^ Corpus: at least thats what Douglas do when this happenes to him:P
^ Taranis: You know what else hurts?
^ Douglas: it's blueballs
^ Douglas: shut up taranis :p
^ Obsidian: egttign kicked in the whang?
^ Taranis: Getting Gored on a fence when you're 7 years old :P
^ Obsidian: getting*
^ Orlandu: i heard a story of a kid who jumped off a swing set to get air
     and land, but when he landed his sack got caught on the sprinklers
     and it just ripped open
^ Krakkur: I strongly doubt I will be able to get a rouse in this
     condition
^ Obsidian: aww, hlel. i cant' tpye , now.
^ Orlandu: i can't comprehend how much that would hurt
^ Taranis: Ouchies.
^ Obsidian: see what i maen.
^ Obsidian: dammit.
^ Mathias: So, don't jump onto sprinklers
You tell Douglas: that's true
^ Orlandu: no crap
^ Taranis: I jumped off a swing when I was a kid and landed on a 
broken
     bottle and sliced my hand up a lil
^ Almuric: We're talking testicle injuries here though
^ Hoshkebosh: my friend was on my trampoline, and he tried a double front
     flip, and he kneed himself in the face, ripped his gums apart,
     knocked one tooth clean out, and knocked three all twisted and into
     his roof of his mouth
^ Obsidian holds his testcilices with a lok of pian.
^ Obsidian: crap.
^ Almuric: But where is the testicle there, Hoshkebosh?
^ Taranis: I saw a funny Raquetball video, these two guys were going
     insane on this ball and finaly one guy missed him and it smoked him
     in the sack
^ Obsidian winces.
^ Taranis nods
^ Taranis: They were playing hardcore for about 3 or 4 minutes before it
     happened, so that ball had momentum and all those wonderful Testicle
     Shattering Forces
Douglas tells you:
     http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/blueballs.html
^ Obsidian: it ins't wnoderflu
^ Corpus: " Some men find that masturbation is a viable solution  "
^ Obsidian: dammit.
^ Corpus: go krakkur
^ Forolkin: What's happened to you krakk?
^ Corpus: this chick was teasing him
^ Forolkin: For his balls?
^ Corpus: We think so yes
^ Forolkin: Ok, and then?
^ Corpus: krakkur was asleep most of the time:P
^ Almuric: It is all explained in
     http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/blueballs.html
^ Forolkin: Uh huh, and then?
^ Corpus: and then nothing more happened, there was no sex, she went
     home and his balls started to hurt like hell
^ Douglas: haha
^ Forolkin: Ouch damn
^ Corpus: and he started whining and yelling
^ Corpus: poor dude
^ Forolkin: damn whiner
^ Obsidian: i am ofifcailyl too buzzde to tpye. comimng out. gniht
^ Corpus: and now he has to masturbate to get healty again
^ Krakkur: Oh man, this is impossible
^ Corpus: which I believe is pretty damn hard when his balls is hurting
     like hell
^ Almuric: No luck?
^ Forolkin: great shit
^ Taranis: Poor Krakkur
^ Forolkin: You should give it a go before it gets all ba
^ Forolkin: bad too..
^ Douglas: the longer you wait the worse it gets :P
^ Corpus: hahahaha
^ Krakkur: Well, I think the pain is near maximum, so hey. Why not?
^ Hoshkebosh: do it now you must. talk like yoda i shall
^ Corpus: so anyway, we gotta make krakkur horny some way
^ Corpus: any suggestions?
^ Forolkin: Hmm.
^ Hoshkebosh: how else?
^ Corpus: Im considering calling the girl so she can return and finish
     what she started
^ Hoshkebosh: Damn Skippy
You tell Douglas: ^ Corpus: so anyway, we gotta make krakkur horny some
     way"
^ Corpus: so these "blueballs" goes away
You tell Douglas: that's pretty funny, really
Douglas tells you: heh
You tell Douglas: well
You tell Douglas: the whole idea of a bunch of guys sitting on the comm
     discussing how to make krakkur horny
^ Hoshkebosh: Painfull, they are
^ Taranis: It would be the polite thing to do
^ Corpus: yes, wouldnt it
^ Forolkin: Most men have been socialized to ejaculate when they get an
     erection during sexual activity. Failure to ejaculate and to feel
     orgasm often adds frustration and disappointment to the reality of
     the physical sensation.
^ Forolkin: Krakkur, do you feel dissapointed?
^ Forolkin: Atleast thats what discovery writes :P
^ Corpus: "The condition usually does not last long and the level of
     pain associated with blue balls is usually minor and can be
     exaggerated."  maybe you got something else
^ Douglas: no :p
^ Forolkin: Yeah
^ Douglas: minor my ass
^ Douglas: i couldn't move
^ Taranis: No, thats intense pain
^ Corpus: I mean, it has got to be the worst pain
^ Taranis: No
^ Almuric: I agree with Douglas, it's hardly minor
^ Taranis: Worst pain is what that lil Pimp does to Deevo in The 
Friday
     After Next
^ Forolkin: Probably something much worse Krakkur, maybee blue balls is
     the lesser version of what you've got... GreatusBluishBallus is
     probably what you've got, lasts several months with great pain...
^ Corpus: well I was upstairs with krakkur, and he actually wanted to
     chop his balls off. no kidding people
^ Taranis: Jeez, just tug Krakkur
^ Corpus: that cant be minor pain can it?
^ Forolkin: Maybee she did... have you looked?
^ Douglas: haha, the fact that you're talking about his balls on the comm
     is killing me. my side hurts from laughing
^ Corpus: hahaha
^ Corpus: Yeah im hurting from all this as well
^I found "^ Corpus: so anyway, we gotta make krakkur horny some way" funny
^ Almuric: I found "^ Corpus: so anyway, we gotta make krakkur horny some
     way" funny

Krakkur Silverbeard the dwarf All-Star (Midfielder) 
[ Idle for 7m 5s ]
On for:  18m 21s                          Gender: male
Age: 49d 20h 52m 32s                      
Can be mailed: Krakkur@Erebor             Krakkur has recorded a life story.
Info: You are the Quarry. 

^ Almuric: He's idle for 7 mins now
^ Almuric: Maybe it's working out better for him
^ Forolkin: He's dead from ballpains
^ Douglas: fdl
^ Almuric: Or maybe it's like that time when he fell asleep while
     masturbating
^ Corpus: haha, I'd bether check in on him
^ Forolkin: A very common condition from having GreatusBluishBallus
^ Almuric: Perhaps that's okay too
^ Corpus: I think this is the first time valinor has let anyone talk
     this much about balls
^ Taranis: Valinor is probably laughing
^ Krakkur: So, Douglas, this sort of umm... cure. Does it take ef
fect
     immediately? Cause I sure don't feel jack shit improved as of yet :/
^ Almuric: hahaha
^ Corpus: hahahhaa
^ Randy: Hmm, does anyone here know how to fix a problem where every
     time you game your computer shuts down?
^ Douglas: should feel relief within 5 minutes
^ Almuric: oh man, this is great :P
^ Krakkur: Ahh, thank god.
^ Corpus: I think this is the funniest shit ever
^ Almuric: beats tidbits any day :P
^ Douglas: heh
^ Corpus: who knew that krakkurs balls could be so much fun eh
^ Krakkur: Man, I am NEVER messing with a girl again, unless I am sure
     she will have sex with me.
^ Almuric: haha
^ Taranis: No man, what you do is you turn the tables =)
^ Almuric: like have bad sex with her so she doesn't get an orgasm?
^ Taranis: They get naughty, you get down right evil and just do whatever
     you can do drive them up the wall, so they have to come back the next
     day, or leave the next day ;)
^ Corpus: yeah, because "Men are not alone in experiencing the
     discomfort of unrelieved vasocongestion. Women's genitals also become
     engorged with blood during sexual arousal and, like their male
     counterparts, women can experience pelvic heaviness and aching if
     they do not reach orgasm
^ Forolkin: krakkur, get even on her
^ Randy: good night people...you know what will turn you on
     more...fixing my computer
^ Corpus: so I say you give her the blueballs back
^ Krakkur: Randy, my balls are far more important
^ Randy: meh, how about you cut them off and use them to cool my
     graphics card
^ Krakkur: I just tried Douglas' method, let's see whether it works
     before I do such a thing
^ Corpus: so... is it going better now?
^ Forolkin: Yeah, is it getting any better?
^ Randy: hmm...what the heck
^ Forolkin: If its not, you probably have greatusbluishballus anyways, and
     then there's no cure
^ Krakkur: It's getting better, I think
^ Forolkin: Placebo
^ Corpus: well, we had a blast
^ Douglas: hahaha
^ Douglas: hahahahahahahahahaha
^ Douglas: krakkur had the blast :P
^ Krakkur: hahaha
^ Corpus: haha
^ Taranis coaches Krakkur in tells :D
^ Almuric: fdl
^ Taranis: Shit that was bad timing for that comm *fdl*
You tell Douglas: krakkur should do this every weekend :P
^ Forolkin: ;)
Douglas tells you: haha
^ Krakkur: Ahh, let's celebrate my survival by lighting a cigarette
^ Almuric: I'm in on that
^ Douglas: me too
^ Corpus: I¨ve never had so much fun on the mud before, seriously
^ Taranis sits and laughs at himself, lighting a cigarette