An exemplary collection of dick and fart jokes.
[ Idiots ] Ruben: we submit to otoron@gmail, right?
[ Idiots ] Qfm: YES YOU NO GOOD WOODEN SHOE WEARING PERSON
[ Idiots ] Ruben: I don't even have wooden shoes :(
[ Idiots ] Qfm: You disappoint me.
[ Idiots ] Qfm: In every respect.
[ Idiots ] Yun: You had to post that stuff about Etoile? :P
[ Idiots ] Ruben: heh
[ Idiots ] Yun: I'm going to hear about that :P
[ Idiots ] Yun: Probably very loudly
[ Idiots ] Qfm: Are you friends with her? :P
[ Idiots ] Otoron: Hahahaha.
[ Idiots ] Yun: and annoyingly
[ Idiots ] Yun: and for a looong loong time
[ Idiots ] Yun: Not really
[ Idiots ] Yun: We talk sometimes :P
[ Idiots ] Yun: Mostly becuase I told her I was jewish
[ Idiots ] Qfm: Your words and your hardware are not in agreement in that!
[ Idiots ] Yun: and I complain about those fucking gentiles
[ Idiots ] Otoron: This is so going in my tidbits update today.
[ Idiots ] Qfm: Just put her on ignore for a while.
[ Idiots ] Qfm: It'll be little change, just 'Iarla is ignoring you.' in place of 'Iarla tells you: Yeah' 'Iarla tells you: right' 'Iarla tells you: me too'
[ Chat ] Bakal: I liked Vazroth's one.
[ Chat ] Bakal: About his Grandma.
[ Chat ] Otoron: I told you! Funny.
[ Chat ] Caber: I did too. :P
[ Chat ] Greg: I hate that evil woman.
[ Chat ] Otoron: You wrote a month ago that you like her!
[ Chat ] Greg: Do you know what she said at my parent's wedding?
[ Chat ] Caber: But mostly because I ask myself that every morning when I wake up.
[ Chat ] Greg: "I liked your other wife better"
[ Chat ] Greg: Evil.
[ Chat ] Otoron: I know that because you wrote about it!
[ Chat ] Greg: I appreciate her humour. But lately it's been directed
toward me. :P
[ Chat ] Caber: I wake up, I start brewing some coffee, I sit down and
check up on logs and email, and then I head straight to
DidGregComeOutYet.com to see if today is the day.
[ Chat ] Greg: Stop it. :p
[ Chat ] Greg: You're as bad as my friends.
[ Chat ] Greg: "It's nothing to be ashamed of"
[ Chat ] Greg: Idiots.
[ Chat ] Greg: They think they're being supportive.
^ (OOC) Aule: A warning is a record, of what precisely was said, and my objection to it...
^ (OOC) Aule: It's neither a punishment, nor a decree.
^ (OOC) Cerebus: it is a punishment
^ (OOC) Cerebus: it lasts for a year and people get nuked for it
^ (OOC) Aule: As such, it's harmless, yet informative.
Reynaerde says: Aule cracks me up
Reynaerde says: in a let's suicide and never log on again way
^ (OOC) Paraiko: I got a good laugh out of seeing someone actually try to argue logic and context with Aule
Fun on the IC comm:
% Valruth: Forsooth! I shall venture to the tradesman near rhosgobel and place a bounty upon your head of multitudinous gold pieces!
% Souleater: huh
% Tiaren: gadzooks!
% Isilinya: What Valruth
% Iarla: You fiend!
% Paraiko: Multitudinus? Do we have Don King on the comm?
% Valruth is just showing people how to say stuff *wink*
% Isilinya: fdl
% Souleater: ok
% Isilinya: ah
% Iarla: Isilinya, you foul harlot of Greenwood!
% Valruth: Fie! A traitor in our midst!
% Isilinya: say that again iarla
% Valruth: Oh don't you bait him
% Iarla: Sayeth what again, you vile trumpet!
% Sunflash: I'll say it. Isilinya, you foul harlot of Greenwood!
% Souleater: what com is this?
% Iarla: strumpet!
% Isilinya: how can he call me a harlot of green wood
% Sunflash: Because you're a harlot.
% Mordack: Silence, foul jezebel.
% Isilinya: ok that will do.. and how could that be?
find isilinya
% Isilinya: you dont even know me
Isilinya is in Blue Mountains at Belegost.
In the room: The Slumbering Dwarf Inn.
Isilinya is not wanted.
% Valruth: For you are in the belegost inn.
% Valruth: Why else would you be there if not to consort with dwarves?
% Iarla: Many a rumour of your bafoonery has reached my ears!
% Isilinya: btw this is the ic comm?
% Hazardous: Nods
% Isilinya: and that was out of character?
% Souleater: ok thanks
% Sunflash: Isilinya, shut up.
% Isilinya: so you have the monopoly on the comms?
% Valruth: Isilinya doth much to keep us on the long straight and narrow!
% Sunflash: No. But I'll kill you if you tell me to take it to another
comm, Isilinya. Just out of spite. And because I don't like you :D
% Isilinya: well i find the harass command most useful i must say
% Isilinya: it loggs everything...
% Someone: Ease up, Sunflash.
% Mordack: well i find the contract command most useful i must say
% Isilinya: isnt that great?
% Sunflash: What's fantastic, is I haven't harassed you :P
% Isilinya: the lanugage and the dirty names and the cruel lies you tell about a lady?
% Isilinya: who is only righteous and upright?
% Paraiko: Why are you boasting about how you need an immortal to hold
your hand through any verbal exchange?
% Iarla: Indeed, the assassins of northern Rhovanian shall hear your name soon enough, foul temptress!
% Sarys: temptress?
% Sunflash: Certainly, Someone. I'm just tired of Isilinya ordering me
around all the time, and threatening to jail me, which by the way,
whould be abuse. I think I'll just ignore her. And maybe kill her if
she tries to get around the ignore :P
% Isilinya: i can turn it on if i wanted to... the harass.. so please
stop
% Souleater: hmm
% Sunflash: No one's harassed you. Most ainur would giggle if you did,
Isilinya.
% Valruth: what is this harass command you doth speak of?
% Isilinya: that is an outright lie sunlfash
% Valruth: and logs? I have seen many logs in forests
% Isilinya: you lie
% Isilinya: they are false logs
% Mordack: Yet more disgusting lies from this shrew?
% Valruth: The logs in forests I have seen are not real? Speakest thou
the truth?!
% Isilinya: i have never done that
% Isilinya: ever
[ Chat ] Caber: I'll put that on the todo list.
[ Chat ] Rathmar: Much appreciated, unless you're blowing me off entirely!
[ Chat ] Rathmar: If that's the case, fuck you!
[ Chat ] Caber: That's the beauty of the todo list. Am I blowing you
off? Hell, _I_ don't even know!
[ Chat ] Qfm: The president's son on 24 is cute
[ Chat ] Yun: I'd let him suck my dick.
[ Chat ] Yun: That was crude!
[ Chat ] Zavosh: wtf :p
[ Chat ] Mithgil: I'd let pretty much anyone who showers more than
three times a week suck my dick.
The fact that this was submitted is a tidbit in itself.
To : Otoron@Linhir
From : Scarn@Buckland
Date : Fri Apr 1 08:55:44 2005
Subject: FWD: File: /tmp/warning_issued
===================================
BEGIN FORWARDED TEXT:
Scatha writes:
> Scatha has warned you for the follow offense:
> profanity on guild board ('fucking')
> You have been logged for 1 warnings.
>
> The warnings was issued on Apr 1
> For more information see 'help warnings'
>
TIDBITS (if you want it:P) cancel out my name though
[ Chat ] Zelindo: OH I REMEMBER
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Earlier I was watching Oprah and wrote down a lot of
stuff I wanted to write about on livejournal.
*** Zelindo was kicked from the server ([ Chat ] Zelindo: Earlier I
was watching Oprah and wrote down a lot of stuff I wanted to write
about on livejournal.).
*** Zelindo has disconnected.
*** Zelindo has connected.
[ Chat ] Zelindo: HAHAH
[ Chat ] Mithgil: Completely justified.
[ Chat ] Kujo: now i will say something strange followed by an insult
questioning your sexuality in the most vigorous of manners
[ Chat ] Kujo: jee mithgil, how's the weather? Isn't Stephen a poof?
[ Chat ] Stephen: Damn. And you followed through.
[ Chat ] Kujo: haha :P
[ Chat ] Kujo: <3 Stephen
[ Chat ] Stephen: Didn't think you'd pull it off!
[ Chat ] R: I hate you, penisbasket.
[ Chat ] Stephen: B=======>
[ Chat ] Stephen: B=======> U
[ Chat ] Stephen: basket!
[ Chat ] Kujo: what the hell does that mean Stephen? :P
[ Chat ] Stephen: I dunno
[ Chat ] Stephen: Looked like a penis.
[ Chat ] Stephen: And the U is kind of a basket if you squint.
[ Chat ] Kujo: you'd like that wouldn't you, you fruity bitch
[ Chat ] Stephen: Hey, fuck you too, buddy.
[ Chat ] Kujo: haha :P
[ Chat ] Stephen: hehe
[ Chat ] R: Steve, stop drawing a penis longer than your own.
[ Chat ] Stephen: Dude :(
[ Chat ] Kujo: rofl
[ Chat ] R: I know you're dreaming, baby.
[ Chat ] Stephen: That's low man.
[ Chat ] R: But can we please get real.
[ Chat ] Stephen: That one hurt.
[ Chat ] Mithgil: this is steve: B>
[ Chat ] Stephen: :(((
[ Chat ] Stephen: You people are why I smoke. :(
Chat ] R: Zelindo is the sort of guy who doesnt get hired and blames
it on 'reverse racism'
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Uh, no
[ Chat ] Zelindo: I don't get hired and blame it on people's ignorance
for thinking home schooled means dropout
[ Chat ] R: It does, doesn't it?
[ Chat ] Mithgil: In your case, it does
[ Chat ] Zelindo: It doesn't
[ Chat ] Zelindo: But in my case
[ Chat ] Zelindo: It does
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Yes
[ Chat ] Stephen: I turn pale looking at porn sometimes.
[ Chat ] Kujo: god you're a blouse Stephen :P
[ Chat ] Kujo: it's home schooling
[ Chat ] Stephen: hahah :p
[ Chat ] Kujo: that's what did it to you
[ Chat ] R: Dude. Two arguments against homeschooling: Zelindo and Mithgil.
[ Chat ] Rami: you should be watching West Wing Season Finale!
[ Chat ] R: ...
[ Chat ] R: Rami, I'm on the West Coast, remember?
[ Chat ] Rami: oh so it's in 2 hrs? 3?
[ Chat ] R: Ffs, I'm 3 hours behind.
[ Chat ] Rami: STFU NOOB
[ Chat ] Rami: i can tell you what happens if you want to know!
[ Chat ] Rami: shit is that a hispanic presidential candidate?
[ Chat ] Rami: wtf is wrong with this world?!
After being silenced for laughing about a joke calling Gothwin ugly:
Kujo goes away from the keyboard [the person who silenced me for no reason obviously wants to have sex with someone who looks like a man].
^ Lalo: rasputin can have sex
^ Lalo: well no with a woman
^ Rasputin: lalo, your invitation is noted
^ Lalo: ok my love, in your ass at 7 at clock
^ Someone: er, clean-up needed
^ Rasputin: cubans are like 3-4 inches tops
^ Lalo: yeah but with a penis of 10000 km!
^ Someone: hey, I said clean it up
^ Lalo shut up his mouth
[ Chat ] Mithgil: I started reading notes from the underground today
[ Chat ] Caber: I read about that in Wired. Kids leaving post-its in
the subway...pretty awesome.
^ (OOC) Rathmar: Ardilion officially fails being able to rank anything ever again.
^ (OOC) Rathmar: With any sort of credibility.
^ (OOC) Rathmar: That's like saying Ray Romano is the funniest comedian of all time.
^ (OOC) Ardilion: you obviously haven't been lured out of your pants with Malakan's witty tongue!
^ (OOC) Rathmar: Malakan's about as witty as a limp penis.
^ (OOC) Malakan: how did Jay-Z end up with Beyonce or whatever her name is?
^ (OOC) Malakan: I mean, he's nothing, and she's amazing
^ (OOC) Kujo: Jay Z looks like a fish
^ (OOC) Rathmar: He has the bling cash.
^ (OOC) Rathmar: Ho's dig money.
^ (OOC) Rathmar: How do you think I get laid?
^ (OOC) Hobytla: A fish who's boning Beyonce
^ (OOC) Rathmar: I flash big cash.
^ (OOC) Kujo: will you date me margeaux?
^ (OOC) Kujo: :)))))))
^ (OOC) Margeaux: haha!! sure why not.
^ (OOC) Kujo: then it's official
^ (OOC) Hobytla: Why not?
^ (OOC) Hobytla: The lip fungus for one
^ (OOC) Hobytla: Not to mention the flaring herpes
You told Janos: It would, with some swedish sex appeal!
You told Janos: the key is to form a group with just your rl friends
Janos told you: It's a shame I have none.
Janos told you: Uhm, I mean
Janos told you: None that MUD.
Janos told you: I didn't mean no friends. :P
You told Janos: ...
Mog told you: i killed josi
Mog told you: i had flamy and it burned him to death
You told Mog: hahahahahahaha
You told Mog: he was lvl 21 too
You told Mog: omfg
Mog told you: yeah
Mog told you: WHOOPS.
[ Chat ] Kujo: you and I can be dual-pontiffs
[ Chat ] Zavosh: I will poison you!
[ Chat ] Kujo: but _I_ got in before you
[ Chat ] Kujo: screams
[ Chat ] Kujo: an Iranian-Canadian and a Jewish-blood Australian as
Pope... That would go down a treat.
[ Chat ] Zavosh: yo that would pwn
[ Chat ] Zavosh: I'm Iranian-Canadian! it's the most unholy combination ever
[ Chat ] Zavosh: i mean holy.. HOLY
[ Chat ] Zavosh: how do you become a catholic? quick, I need to level
up by the time they select a pope
[ Chat ] Zavosh: I don't know man. I'm neither I think
[ Chat ] Zavosh: somewhere in between :P
[ Chat ] Zavosh: yo I need to level up the catholic levels
[ Chat ] Zavosh: where's a priest trainer
[ Chat ] Qfm: hahah
[ Chat ] Zavosh: how much exp do you need for cardinal
[ Chat ] Qfm: Sawab is allah exp. Devoutness is pope exp
[ Chat ] Zavosh: do you get it through killing squirrels? :P
[ Chat ] Zavosh: you probably don't get it through killing shit eh
^ (OOC) Alkath: find ash
find ash
Ash is in Gondor at Minas Tirith, level 4.
-HP:230 EP:200-
^Ash is in Alkath's mom, in the room Alkath's bedroom.
^ (OOC) Ecidon: Ash is in Alkath's mom, in the room Alkath's bedroom.
-HP:230 EP:197-
*Mathias kicks you in the head. You must be doing something wrong... Damn, that hurts!
^ (OOC) Logan: make sense or die, bitch!
^ (OOC) Sunflash: He did nothing truly nukable. I doubt he's worth it to Draug.
^ (OOC) Ninyari: I know but at least we could have enjoyed the pretty colors.
^ (OOC) Logan: stop talking, the both of you.
^ (OOC) Logan: you're making the comm look ugly.
[ Chat ] Rami: i took a dump, so mean, i got knocked out twice before
i could flush it.
[ Chat ] Rami: god that was nasty.
[ Chat ] Rami: why do i say shit like that?
[ Chat ] Zavosh: you got knocked out?
[ Chat ] Zavosh: by your shit?
[ Chat ] Zavosh: what the hell?
[ Chat ] Yun: This spear is like having gay sex with whatever you're attacking
[ Chat ] Yun: You PUNCH HOLES into Black panther with UNRELENTING
DEVASTATING THRUSTS!
[ Chat ] Rami: hie
[ Chat ] Qfm: hi hi
[ Chat ] Rami: WHO PITCHED?!
[ Chat ] Qfm: he did!
[ Chat ] Rami: can't say no to a blackman!
[ Chat ] Rami: did you toss a coin?
[ Chat ] Rami: :p
[ Chat ] Rami: sorry im just intrigued with the division of labor in
regards to homsexual intercourse!
[ Chat ] Rami: :(
[ Chat ] Qfm: You make it so unromantic
[ Chat ] Rami: haha
[ Chat ] Rami: <3
[ Chat ] Rami: Pallasch was asked by his 8year, now 9year old sister
if he was gay.
[ Chat ] M: He was?
[ Chat ] M: hahahahaha
[ Chat ] Rami: it was because i had IM'd him once.. and was like "hi
brad, my gay loveR"
[ Chat ] Rami: and she was at the other end.. and was like "i think
you want to talk to my brother"
[ Chat ] Rami: and so she confronted him!
[ Chat ] Rami: hahaha "brad are you gay?"
Mithgil, on his trip to Los Angeles:
[ Chat ] Mithgil: oh yeah, the cops came
[ Chat ] Stephen: Oh boy!
[ Chat ] Mithgil: it was like
[ Chat ] Stephen: Bad?
[ Chat ] Mithgil: one minute i'm being folded in half on the lawn
[ Chat ] Mithgil: next i'm running inside for another beer
[ Chat ] Stephen: Wow :P
[ Chat ] Mithgil: and then the spotlight hits
[ Chat ] Mithgil: so i was like not visible which was lucky
[ Chat ] R: God, LAPD would tear through your ass like anfidurl through butter.
Someone tells you: ^ (OOC) Otoron: omg, Trenchant, do me a favor, and
open wide. -- Good example of what not to say.
[ Chat ] Stephen: I mean, the sex was so bad it made me think I was
gay, but, still, I didn't talk to her ever again.
[ Daen Hecil ] Arawn: Holy crap i have a lot of alias
Arawn says in Westron: lugburz
Someone steps into the background.
rotfl
You roll on the floor laughing.
-HP:230 EP:230-
glance
The grand hall of the keep(d, alcove, out and u)
A wooden ballot box [2 votes]
The board of the Daen Hecil [30 notes]
-HP:230 EP:230-
[ Chat ] Otoron: Should I post these tidbits?
[ Chat ] Stephen: Post them
[ Chat ] Kujo: yes
[ Chat ] Otoron: They're 90% us making dick/ass jokes.
[ Chat ] Otoron: Is that still funny?
[ Chat ] Stephen: Yeah
[ Chat ] Greg: is my pope one there?
[ Chat ] Otoron: No. It wasnt that funny.
[ Chat ] Greg: Neither are all your dick/ass jokes. :P
[ Chat ] Stephen: haha
[ Chat ] Otoron: Fair enough!
[ Chat ] Vazroth: Zelindo, you were saying the pope had died yesterday.
[ Chat ] Zelindo: I was!
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Stupid European news agencies said he did.
[ Chat ] Zelindo: So CNN relayed the same message until the vatican
was like "uh no"
[ Chat ] Zelindo: EUROPEAN NEWS BAD
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Reuters and the Italian Press are confirmed to have
started the rumor that he died.
[ Chat ] Zelindo: They put out it was an EKG instead of an EEG.
[ Chat ] Vazroth: I told my friends.
[ Chat ] Vazroth: And we had a minute's silence before we went out drinking.
[ Chat ] Vazroth: Then we passed by a television which said he was
'struggling on'
[ Chat ] Vazroth: Boy, did I feel stupid.
[ Chat ] Zelindo: Blame Reuters. :(
[ Chat ] Zelindo: For trying to jump the gun and "get the story." I hate that.
[ Chat ] Vazroth: "That's a fucking sick joke to make, Greg"
[ Chat ] Vazroth: "How the hell could you say something like that?"
[ Chat ] Vazroth: Kind of spoiled my night. :P
[ Chat ] Kujo: hahahahahaha